For the win.
You know when you’re looking through a friends tagged photos, like all of them without really thinking. Suddenly you realize how bored you are and decided to stop. Then you look down and you see you only have like 60 pictures left to look at and you figure you might as well finish what you started.
On Tuesday I got a message from “Anonymous” that changed everything for me. I’m certain this person is not a follower or a friend. I can’t really figure out how this person found my blog or what possessed them to tell me the truth about Tyler. This person finding me online outside of facebook kind of creeped me out. It actually really creeped me out. I feel a little vulnerable now, with someone I don’t know having the link to my blog. Then again all my lovely followers have that link and I don’t know them outside of Tumblr-land.
More than anything though, I have to say thank you to “Anonymous”… even if you are who I think you are. Even if you just wanted to hurt me. You told me the truth.
My brother occasionally makes really loud, obnoxious noises when we’re out in public because people look over and assume it was me.
You guys should follow this guy. Read his first blog and then just enjoy his sense of humour and perspective.
Yes. Yes I have.
You guys, not to brag, but I really feel like the $13 veggie plate that only had one section of carrots consumed really brought a mature aura to my get-together, so I’m not even mad that my fucking friends didn’t even fucking eat the $13 fucking dollar veggie platter, YOU DICKS, IT WAS THE MOST EXPENSIVE THING I BOUGHT FOR YOU, YOU FUCKING PRETZEL EATING JERKS.
Follow her. Just do it. You won’t be sorry.
I am trying to keep my perspective, to remember that this moment in time is just that, a moment. I have such a hard time staying where I am, I am never in this place in my head and in my heart. Sometimes I live in the past and sometimes I stress over the future. Part of the reason I wanted to move across the world was that I thought it would help me restart my outlook a bit. At home everyone around me was so worried and stressed. Many of my friends were so worried about finding love, finding a career and I often saw it get in the way of them being able to live their life in the moment. I am guilty of this as well, especially back home. I felt stuck in the same place with the same stresses and the same solutions. I wanted to begin somewhere new with chances for something different. I haven’t really been enjoying that aspect of my big move. Sometimes when I realize I have no plans past next week I start to panic, I feel like I’m just one bad move away from failure or giving up.
Two things have made me realise that I need to start taking some more risks with my life. Last week a family member passed away unexpectedly. We’re still not really sure exactly what happened and it shook me a bit. This person had been through a lot, life was hard on him, physically. Yet he’d always been such a caring and thoughtful person. The nature of his passing made me think about how quickly things can change in our lives, how easily people can disappear.
I got my palm read last weekend, I’ve never had any kind of reading before and I thought it would be fun, which it was. It also reminded me that life has so many possibilities. I have taken a big chance, moving here not knowing anyone, not sure where to live, what job to take or how it would turn out. I have to keep reminding myself that this chance has given me so much more possibility.
In this moment, the one that I’m in right now I have a lot of options. If I look up from where I am sitting in Starbucks, I can see King’s Cross Station. That’s where you get the train to Hogwarts you guys. I am going to try staying here for a bit, not at Starbucks but in this state of mind. The good comes with the bad.
Complete side note to anything to do with my life but I can’t stop watching Mad About You. I liked this show when I was WAY too young to get how neurotic these people all are and now all I can do is watch it and love it. Plus, can we talk about Paul and Jamie??? Where do you see this kind of love on television ever? They just fucking love eachother, it’s a thing.
I had another interview today… I don’t know how it went really. It’s definitely a job I am capable of doing, I’ve done most of it before but the interviewer had some doubts. Not about my abilities but about the fact that I’m foreign. I told her that I thought my being Canadian should be considered an asset, a different perspective is never a bad thing. I also made sure she knew that I am here long-term. I find it strange how many personal questions they asked. She asked me where I live. She asked me how many people I live with. Anyways, other than my nationality being a “disadvantage” I felt it went pretty well. Even if I don’t get the job interviewing is always good experience. I applied for quite a few jobs this week, only got one interview, I should hear by Monday about it.
Sarah and I both get our “rewards” for applying for 15 jobs this week. I get to buy a ticket to see Wicked (I’ve been so jealous of everyone at home going to see it!) and she gets to spend £50 at Topshop.
Otherwise things are good. I’m looking forward to Megan coming to town in a few weeks. We met at St. Margaret’s where I went to boarding school. It seem so long ago, I haven’t seen her in almost ten years (is that right?!?!) but I always loved her positive attitude and sense of adventure.
I’ve spent the last few days in my head. That’s not always a good thing but this time I think it was exactly what I needed. Sure, I didn’t DO much over the weekend, I spent most of it reading and watching movies in bed. I needed a break from everything around me, everything is new and it takes a bit to process. I needed to relax and think about some things. I recharged, I adapted and I got myself where I need to be, mentally.
I felt like I need to remind myself to evaluate things more often. I needed to evaluate my job seeking process, find a better way to approach it so I don’t get so frustrated with it. So, I wrote cover letters for all the types of jobs I am looking for, one for theatre jobs, one for event management and one for administrative jobs. I created a spreadsheet to track jobs, closing dates and follow up information.
I needed to look at everything I want to do in this city and figure out a way to do them all. In that vein, I stole an idea from Carabook and started my own London List… I’ll post it later and let you all know when I’ve completed things, much like Carabook does. It’s a fabulous idea… I don’t just have career goals to achieve, there are things I want to do and see!
I needed to realize that my relationship with Tyler was draining me and taking attention away from what I need to be focusing on. I wanted so much for us to work somehow and I spent a lot of my time figuring out ways to make that happen. Before I really knew what was happening last night, I told Tyler I couldn’t keep going the way that things have been going and that I needed time to get over him. I didn’t plan on it, I didn’t want to do it and I’ve been pretty miserable since but I can’t really see any other way for me to be happy here. I can’t be in a half relationship with someone on the other side of the world.
So my weekend in bed, avoiding the rain was actually pretty productive which I’m pretty impressed about.
“How’d you like to quarter pound me?”
“Ohh, you look like you’re packing a Big Mac!”
“I’ll date you, but only if you’re supersized!”
“I can’t wait to get a hold of those chicken nuggets.”
“Careful with that special sauce!”
Getting pumped up for a night out while eating at McDonald’s.
International friendship is pretty okay.